Sometimes I sit and think, and sometimes I just sit.
Yesterday was one of those days. I just sat.
Just that. I sat.
Cause I was troubled.
And it's when I'm more troubled that I tend to overthink.
And it's when I overthink that I feel the more hopeless.
And hopelessness it's not nice, I think.
The last time I overthought, that overthinking triggered a sense of hopelessness in my stomach that tore me apart. And the chair where I overthought on was torn apart too.
I didn't think too much about it back then, but I've come to realise now how important that chair was; I've come to realise now how full of hope it was for over the hundred years it spent bearing with my grandfather, always standing on it's four wooden legs; and how my overthoughts and hopelessness spread to it like an illness that ended up killing it. Breaking it.
Well, I better not overthink it. I better go just sit.
I better go just sit in this new chair I bought. It's a beautiful chair. It's a beautiful, young and strong chair. It's made of wood, and the seat is yellow. I think I should treat this one better, and try not to sit and think on it when I'm troubled, I'll try to just sit on it instead.
Don't think that I don't think. I do think. I like to think. And I like to sit and think. Sit and think, but only when the mood is right. When the mood isn't right, or when I'm troubled, as I stated before, it's when I'm just sitting and not thinking that i feel that everything's not lost.
Just sit so I don't feel hopeless.
Just sit so I don't overthink.
But sometimes I just sit and think. I can't help it.
Sometimes I sit, and sometimes I just sit and think.
And the chapter ends the same way it began, and the circle is complete and Elton John starts to sing. This is stupid. I know it's stupid, but an old lady on the elevator told me I should write.
"You should write because it heals the mind", she said.
Does my mind need healing, though? I don't know. But old ladies on elevators need to be heard. Who knows, she might be right. God bless old wise ladies on elevators. God bless writting pieces.
Whatever comes from this, I'm just gonna let it happen.