And here I am, once again, face to face with the vacuum. After all those nights trying to conquer the sun and all those days trying to make love to the moon, everything seems to be back to the same point. Back to nothing.
Nothing has changed, nothing has been achieved.
For the last months, every single day as the night has approached I have been planning how to win over then sun. I have been analysing his steps, his brights and his dark sides. But I have not been able to discern the best possible approach for the mission.
I have gotten a ride in a spaceship more than once. I have been into my beloved moon's surface several times. I have caressed her an infinite number of times. All without noticing any kind of response.
Every effort is useless, everything is impossible.
At least that's what I thought the previous times I had to face to this same situation. I felt empty, unnecessary, useless. I felt impossible. Despite feeling similar again, the truth is that I've learned quite a lot during this last process. I still feel impossible. I still feel such an emptyness inside that I can't even start to describe, I still feel kind of useless but - and that's the key - I don't feel unnecessary anymore. I don't feel myself unnecessary as I did before, neither this attempts of conquering the unconquerable. In fact, they make me feel some meaningful sentiments. Feelings that are hard to explain because of their excesive simplicity, feelings like happiness.
Let me tell you something to you vacuum. Let me explain you one thing before we start our battle again. I know you are going to win this one too. I know that we'll be seeing our faces again pretty soon. I know that in this new chapter that we are opening now I'll be loosing a significant number of beliefs, that'll be even more lost when I come back. But I'll be fine. I'll be fine because as long as the sun and the moon continue watching me from the sky I'll know that's what I'm meant to do.
Everything is impossible when everything's not lost.